Trigger warning: anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts.
St John Ambulance Cymru’s Clinical Director, David Monk, is opening up about his own mental health struggles this Mental Health Awareness Week, with the hopes to break down some of the stigma surrounding mental ill-health. David is urging anyone who is also struggling to reach out for help from friends, family, colleagues or local mental health charities and the NHS.
David opens up about his experience with depression and anxiety, which even led to him having suicidal thoughts in 2018. He describes feeling “constantly on edge, worried that something dreadful was about to happen, and feeling self-hate” which was triggered by combination of work pressures and a bereavement.
“Deep down I knew I wasn’t well, but convinced myself I would be okay if I kept busy and didn’t think about it” he said.
Eventually, a friend recognised that David wasn’t himself and encouraged him to seek help. He made an appointment at his local doctors, had some time off work and was referred to a psychologist.
“I was ashamed” David says, “the stigma I perceived about seeing a psychologist was hard to deal with”.
David began to find his feet and on his return to work he confided in some close work colleagues. He asked them to look out for any signs of him spiralling again in the future, so he knew he was supported at work.
It was then that David decided to share more publicly about his diagnosis of depression and anxiety, he had come to terms with having nothing to hide and wanted others in his workplace to feel comfortable discussing their own mental health journey. He was met with lots of kind and supportive comments, and about a year later one individual reached out to say she was alive today because of seeing his post. Seeing how David had overcome his struggles had given her the strength to continue.
Since then, David has become unwell again, but now he can recognise what is happening and has sought help through his workplace’s mental health scheme. He took time off to take care of himself, and attended therapy.
He highlights how his therapist taught him “for many of us, mental health challenges may always be with us, but we learn to manage them like many other physical conditions”.
David says “ I look back and I am thankful that I chose to continue,” he is grateful of the support he received from his therapist, work colleagues and GP, and he recognises that speaking about his own mental health struggles can help others, and this is perceived as a real strength.
At his interview for Clinical Director, David was open about his past struggled and this was perceived as a real strength, aligning with the values of St John Ambulance Cymru. “As a society we still have a long way to go for talking about mental health to accepted in the same way as physical health, but I remain determined to do all I can to support this.”
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, then you can contact the NHS by phoning 111 or Samaritans by phoning 116 123. Other helplines in Wales include:
C.A.L.L on 0800 132 737
PAPYRUS on 0800 068 4141
Mind Cymru on 0300 123 3393
Mae'r Cyfarwyddwr Clinigol, David Monk, yn siarad yn agored am ei daith iechyd meddwl yn ystod Wythnos Ymwybyddiaeth Iechyd Meddwl
Rhybudd sbardun: pryder, iselder, meddyliau hunanladdol.
Mae Cyfarwyddwr Clinigol St John Ambulance Cymru, David Monk, yn agor i fyny am ei anawsterau iechyd meddwl ei hun yn ystod Wythnos Ymwybyddiaeth Iechyd Meddwl, gyda’r gobaith o chwalu rhywfaint o’r stigma sy’n gysylltiedig â salwch meddwl. Mae David yn annog unrhyw un sydd hefyd yn ei chael hi'n anodd estyn allan am help gan ffrindiau, teulu, cydweithwyr neu elusennau iechyd meddwl lleol a'r GIG.
Mae David yn siarad yn agored am ei brofiad o iselder a gorbryder, a arweiniodd hyd yn oed at feddwl am hunanladdiad yn 2018. Mae’n disgrifio teimlo “ar y cyrion yn gyson, yn poeni bod rhywbeth ofnadwy ar fin digwydd, ac yr teimlad o hunan-gasineb” a ysgogwyd gan gyfuniad pwysau gwaith a phrofedigaeth.
“Yn ddwfn i lawr roeddwn i’n gwybod nad oeddwn i’n dda, ond roeddwn i wedi argyhoeddi fy hun y byddwn i’n iawn pe bawn i’n cadw’n brysur a heb feddwl am y peth” meddai.
Yn y diwedd, cydnabodd ffrind nad oedd David ei hun ac anogodd ef i geisio cymorth. Gwnaeth apwyntiad gyda'i feddygon lleol, cafodd beth amser i ffwrdd o'r gwaith a chafodd ei gyfeirio at seicolegydd.
“Roedd cywilydd gen i ” meddai David, “roedd e’n anodd delio â’r stigma roeddwn i’n ei weld am weld seicolegydd”.
Dechreuodd David teimlo'n well ac ar ôl dychwelyd i'r gwaith roedd yn ymddiried mewn rhai cydweithwyr agos. Gofynnodd iddynt gadw golwg am unrhyw arwyddion ohono yn strugglo eto yn y dyfodol, er mwyn sicrhau ei fod yn cael ei gefnogi yn y gwaith.
Dyna pryd penderfynodd David rannu ei ddiagnosis o iselder a phryder fwy cyhoeddus achos roedd wedi dod i delerau â chael dim i’w guddio ac eisiau i eraill yn ei weithle deimlo’n gyfforddus yn trafod eu taith iechyd meddwl eu hunain.
Cafwyd llawer o sylwadau caredig a chefnogol iddo, a thua blwyddyn yn ddiweddarach estynnodd un unigolyn allan i ddweud ei bod yn fyw heddiw oherwydd gwelodd hi ei post. Roedd gweld sut roedd David wedi goresgyn ei frwydrau wedi rhoi’r nerth iddi barhau.
Ers hynny, mae David wedi mynd yn dos eto, ond nawr mae’n gallu adnabod yr hyn sy’n digwydd ac mae wedi ceisio cymorth trwy gynllun iechyd meddwl ei weithle. Cymerodd amser i ffwrdd i ofalu amdano'i hun, a mynychodd therapi.
Mae’n amlygu sut y dysgodd ei therapydd iddo “i lawer ohonom, efallai y bydd heriau iechyd meddwl gyda ni am byth, ond rydym yn dysgu sut i reoli nhw, fel llawer o gyflyrau corfforol eraill”.
Dywed David “Rwy’n edrych yn ôl ac rwy’n ddiolchgar fy mod wedi dewis parhau,” mae’n ddiolchgar am y gefnogaeth a gafodd gan ei therapydd, ei gydweithwyr a’i Feddyg Teulu, ac mae’n cydnabod y gall siarad am ei anawsterau iechyd meddwl ei hun helpu eraill, a mae hyn yn cael ei ystyried yn gryfder gwirioneddol.
Yn ei gyfweliad ar gyfer Cyfarwyddwr Clinigol, roedd David yn agored am ei frwydrau yn y gorffennol ac roedd hyn yn cael ei weld fel cryfder gwirioneddol, yn cyd-fynd â gwerthoedd St John AmbulanceCymru. “Fel cymdeithas mae gennym ni ffordd bell i fynd eto er mwyn i siarad am iechyd meddwl gael ei dderbyn yn yr un ffordd ag iechyd corfforol, ond rwy’n parhau i fod yn benderfynol o wneud popeth fy mod i'n gallu i gefnogi hyn.”
Os ydych yn cael argyfwng iechyd meddwl, yna gallwch gysylltu â'r GIG drwy ffonio 111 neu'r Samariaid drwy ffonio 116 123.
Mae llinellau cymorth eraill yng Nghymru yn cynnwys:
C.A.L.L ar 0800 132 737
PAPYRUS ar 0800 068 4141
Mind Cymru ar 0300 123 3393
